The Leader's Superpower: Active Listening, Operationalized
For leaders, it can be easy to fall into the trap of believing that our primary role is to direct, to speak, and to have all the answers. We lead with our expertise and our passion, eager to solve problems and drive results. But what if the most powerful tool in our leadership arsenal isn't our voice, but our ears? Zeno said it over 2,000 years ago, “We have two ears, and one mouth, so… listen more than we speak.” What if the ability to truly listen is the key to unlocking the full potential of our teams, our clients, and our organizations?
This is where the power of active listening comes in—a skill that goes far beyond simply hearing words. But, what is active listening? How is it done?
Active listening is a disciplined practice of deep understanding, and it can be operationalized through a simple yet profound framework: LiPPS™ — Listen, Probe, Paraphrase, and Solicit.
The LiPPS™ Framework: A Guide to Deeper Understanding
1. Listen to Understand, Not to Refute.
The first step is to shift our mindset. We're not listening to find flaws in the other person's argument or to formulate our rebuttal. We are listening to understand. A powerful technique to aid this is to take copious notes on as many loaded words and phrases as you can. This makes us smarter and also signals to the other person that we are engaged, we care, and we will follow up.
Loaded words and phrases key verbalizations that have a unique or emotional meaning to the speaker. Phrases like, "It's always been this way," or "I'm concerned about the budget," are windows into the other person's story, revealing what's on their mind or what's troublesome. Often, hidden agendas are not so obscure, they simply haven’t been heard!
2. Probe for Deeper Meaning.
Once you've identified loaded words and phrases, the next step is to probe with lots of open-ended questions. This is not an interrogation, but a conversational exploration. The goal is to get their full story.
Instead of accepting a surface-level statement, ask follow-up questions from the loaded words or phrases you heard or from your notes. By asking questions, we demonstrate a genuine desire to:
Address the client’s agenda rather than pushing your own
Fully understand their story… pain points and opportunities
Doing so diffuses defensiveness because, let’s face it, it's hard to argue with someone who is listening and cares.
3. Paraphrase to Confirm Your Understanding.
After listening and probing, the next crucial step is to paraphrase what you've heard. This may seem unnecessary if you feel you've listened well, but it's not. By saying, "Let me make sure I understand what you've shared..." you give the other person an opportunity to confirm your understanding is correct or to clarify any misinterpretations. This simple act demonstrates that you have been attentive and that, once again, you care.
Caution: Wait a bit before you paraphrase. Once a sufficient amount of dialogue has taken place, do so. You don’t want to sound like you just graduated from paraphrasing school!
4. Solicit Their Ideas First.
As leaders, we are often eager to jump in with solutions. It’s our role! However, the most effective leaders know that true buy-in comes from collaboration… skin in the game! Before offering your own solution, solicit the other person's thoughts, hunches, or best guesses. You are not asking them for THE answer… they may not have it, but they may have an idea.
When we solicit ideas first, we create a sense of mutual ownership of the solution. It's no longer about your idea versus their idea; it's about finding the most effective path forward, together.
Harnessing the "Power of Pulls": Your Question Toolkit
Instead of "pushing" your own agenda, you can "pull" information, influence, and create buy-in through strategic questions. The key is to enter every conversation armed with a set of impactful, open-ended questions.
Here are sample "pull" questions you can use:
To Understand the Problem:
I need to understand the situation as you do. What problem/outcome do you see us addressing?
What are the stones in your shoes?
How does this relate to your key business outcomes… the things you are measured on?
What is the likely effect, if you continue as you are?
To Solicit Solutions and Create Buy-In:
I have some ideas, but I'd like to hear from you first.
Wave a magic wand - what miracles would you like to see happen?
What would you like to see as the next steps, and how can I help?
The Value of Active Listening: Cultivating Trust
By embracing the LiPPS™ framework and the “Power of Pulls”, leaders can transform their interactions and relationships. This approach helps to :
Establish Credibility and Trust: By taking the time to truly understand, you demonstrate your commitment to finding the right solution, not pushing your own agenda.
Diffuse Defensiveness: "Any fire dies if there is insufficient wood". Your support and collaboration create skin in the game and forward motion.
Uncover Hidden Agendas: Asking open-ended questions about loaded words and phrases enables you to unearth hidden agendas.
Foster Buy-In: When people feel heard and included in the solution-finding process, they are far more likely to be committed to the outcome.
In a world that is constantly urging us to speak, the true thought leader knows when to be silent. The next time you enter a meeting, resist the urge to lead with your expertise. Instead, lead with your ears. Epictetus, the philosopher who followed centuries after Zeno reminds us, "You can’t learn what you think you already know!" You might be surprised by what you hear.